


opened window; closed door

by benjiboo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Fooling around but no smut, Implied Sebaek, Implied Violence, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 17:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjiboo/pseuds/benjiboo
Summary: You live and you learn. Chanyeol learns too late.





	opened window; closed door

**Author's Note:**

> no beta

The first time Chanyeol met eyes with Baekhyun was when they were freshmen in middle school.  
  
They weren’t in the same class nor lunch period, but they were assigned as partners to clean the library after school. Chanyeol saw him other times such as passing by in the hallways, and whenever he’d see him he’d be chatting away with other kids. Even if he didn’t see the boy, he would most certainly hear talk of him in his classroom. As far as Chanyeol was concerned, this kid was popular, and very well liked. Baekhyun would often be the cause for the hallway’s explosive chatter, as well as the flock of girls that tailed Baekhyun and his clique.  
  
“Hey I’m Baekhyun. What’s your name, pal?”  
  
“Chanyeol.”  
  
“Nice to meet you!”  
  
Their conversations were just as quick as their introductions, going nothing beyond menial small talk, nonetheless Baekhyun was a nice kid. Chanyeol had preconceived that partnering with him would be noisy and intrusive, but the former seemed to understand Chanyeol just simply wasn’t much of a talker. And for that, Chanyeol appreciated his presence, quickly understanding one of the many reasons why he was so well liked—Baekhyun was just simply easygoing.  
  
The school year went by fast, and in no time the semester changed as well as their cleaning duty partners. Their farewells were just like their introductions, quick and to the point.  
  
With the utter luck in differences of schedules, it would be awhile until Chanyeol would talk or let alone see Baekhyun again. Word of Baekhyun in their middle school seemed to fade those next couple of years, and the popular boy had eventually become a memory distant and long forgotten to him.  
  
  
  
The second time Chanyeol and Baekhyun met eyes was in highschool. They were in the same class this time, though Chanyeol can’t say how much his class changed with the addition of Baekhyun in the room. Most of his homeroom consisted of schoolmates from their middle school, although none seemed to pay much attention to the boy.  
  
Baekhyun was quiet, a lot more quieter than Chanyeol had expected if he had to remember anything about him. He didn’t know if it’s because nobody was just that willing to talk anymore, perhaps it was simply just studies weighing heavier than ever. Anyhow, Baekhyun always kept his head down and Chanyeol could really just think nothing of it and move on—except something tells him he shouldn’t.  
  
Maybe a stroke of luck, but it turns out he made the right decision. There were people from other homerooms during lunch who would go to their classroom purely to ‘check up’ on Baekhyun. Whenever they came around, Chanyeol observed the boy’s shift in tension and how he trained his eyes on none other than his lap. When someone from the group whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, it was enough for his whole body to still. Chanyeol would learn later on the person whispering was their leader, and he was definitely not friendly from whenever Chanyeol spotted him outside of school with underclassmen.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t know how this all started but if he had to guess, he supposed all this had to do with Baekhyun’s lack in physical development. Since middle school he had stayed the same height while all the other boys grew past him, and he even kept most of the baby fat he had, maybe gained a bit more. He wasn’t exactly overweight, but a lot of his body was soft—his thighs jiggled and his arms were squishy. The two month winter break before the new semester did the boy no justice, it just seemed like Baekhyun would get more ounces plumper.  
  
To be honest, Chanyeol didn’t know what to do. Even if the solution was dead obvious, he still continued to watch the gang come by everyday to ridicule Baekhyun. It wasn’t as if the teacher cared, neither. Most adults would (and have) accuse Baekhyun of not properly correcting himself, it’s all on him for putting himself in such a weak situation. And it seemed like in no time the class, including teachers, started to join in on this mess with the gang. The most Chanyeol could do, at least he convinced in his head, was not participate.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t leave Chanyeol’s efforts unnoticed.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Hi,” Chanyeol tore his gaze away from his book to the boy sitting to his right.  
  
“It seems like we’re sitting next to each other this semester.” Baekhyun offered a meek smile.  
  
The other nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
They ended it there, less because they never really took it that far and more because the teacher was eying them.  
  
Somewhere around that period Chanyeol received a sneaky note from the boy beside him.  
  
‘ _Meet me after school, please?_ ’  
  
  
  
Chanyeol had complied. It’s not like he had any other choice, Baekhyun was right there by the school gates and was gushing with sunshine the moment he laid his eyes on Chanyeol. Sure he could’ve lied his way out of this, but why? He figured he understood Baekhyun’s intentions of meeting after school. Chanyeol was pretty much the only one in the class who didn’t clown him every single day—he probably wanted a friend. Perhaps Baekhyun needed one.  
  
“So, it’s been awhile since we talked, hm?” Chanyeol tried to start this time.  
  
Baekhyun nodded faintly. “Yeah. How have you been those couple years?”  
  
“Pretty average. Wasn’t bad nor good. You?”  
  
“Hah,” Baekhyun laughed a bit, “Wish I could say the same.” He didn’t seem nervous by the topic, just more sullen.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t want to ask about anything, Baekhyun knew he wasn’t oblivious to it anyways. It became unspoken agreement to not mention of whatever’s happening to Baekhyun in school.  
  
They went on to get some hot cocoa before sitting down somewhere in the park, waiting for the sun to set together. Not much words were exchanged throughout their meet, but Chanyeol soon learned Baekhyun didn’t mind too much, or at all (it seems that part about him never changed). He just pretty much liked a shoulder to lean on, and Chanyeol learned he didn’t mind it all that much.  
  
  
  
The third time Chanyeol and Baekhyun met eyes was after school. Although they acted like they weren’t paying attention to each other during school, they had agreed on the previous day they would meet again. This became their routine.  
  
Not bringing up the bullies turned out to be the right choice, at least it seemed that way to Chanyeol. He says this because he knows when Baekhyun waits for him after class, he’s waiting for someone he confidently depends on to help escape from his troubles in school. They spend their time at theatres, arcades, and strange shops at odd parts of town, sometimes exploring the city in their evenings. Most activities are at Baekhyun’s suggestion. In conversations, Baekhyun is the one who does the talking and Chanyeol would just listen. Even if they couldn’t find a better topic, Baekhyun would make one.  
  
The truth was, Baekhyun was much more alone than Chanyeol had initially thought. He lived alone, at his parents’ strong suggestion. They were living abroad since summer vacation and had supplied Baekhyun money to continue his studies in Korea until they’d return from their supposedly important work. As far as Chanyeol was concerned, Baekhyun constantly avoiding the topic of his parents and how he’d talk about them—if ever—caused the former to think his parents didn’t fulfill all parts of their job, namely emotional support.  
  
Chanyeol doesn’t usually enjoy being heavily depended on, but he’s made this decision himself and he knows Baekhyun doesn’t regret talking to him as well. Chanyeol enjoys being in his company, even if their conversations don’t travel so deep. Just being in each other’s presence is enough. Seeing Baekhyun smile for the first time ever since the beginning of the school year, Chanyeol figures, is enough.  
  
  
  
The fourth time they met eyes was when they were wrestling each other in front of a photo booth in a theatre. For some reason the booth only printed one picture, and they were fighting for it for different reasons.  
  
Chanyeol wasn’t ready for the picture so he looked awfully bad, hence why he was ready to rip it to shreds.  
  
Baekhyun could care less about how he looked, it was their picture and their memory and he loved it.  
  
In the end, after Baekhyun’s slippery fingers managed to tickle Chanyeol down to the ground, he pocketed the picture triumphantly.  
  
Chanyeol stared up at Baekhyun, who was straddling his hips.  
  
They got out of that position the second it dawned on them.  
  
  
  
The fifth time Chanyeol met Baekhyun’s eyes, alcohol bottles littered the floor, and Chanyeol knew less than a quarter of that count went down his own throat. Chanyeol was in Baekhyun’s bed with the smaller boy beneath him, begging for the taller to just touch him, hold him, to never let go.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t understand why Baekhyun was like this, if being alone was really getting to the boy. He had to fervently remind himself that Baekhyun wasn’t alone—the boy had him right here. But he’s certainly acting as if Chanyeol would leave and never come back if he didn’t hold on hard enough.  
  
He knew very well Baekhyun wasn’t in the right state of mind, yet all the frantic touching on the taller’s body, begging for the ministrations to be returned, all of this ignited something inside Chanyeol.  
  
Then suddenly came Baekhyun’s kiss, going by as quick as it came.  
  
As much as Baekhyun (and even Chanyeol) wanted to take it further, the latter chose to only hold the other until they fell asleep.  
  
Baekhyun wouldn’t remember anything from that day when he passes out.  
  
Chanyeol chose to keep the memory of the kiss, how soft Baekhyun’s lips felt against his own. How needy every inch of his body felt, eager to soak up all of the taller’s attention.  
  
These visits over to Baekhyun’s house always ended in them holding each other, and Chanyeol convinces his own parents sometimes to sleep over as Baekhyun lives alone.  
  
Baekhyun was rambling again, but smiling nonetheless. His words seemed to jump everywhere, but Chanyeol knew as hard it was to follow, being here and listening to him meant a lot to the boy. Then his words suddenly trailed off, bringing a bit of alarm to the taller.  
  
“Chanyeol, do you think it’s weird I like you?”  
  
“No, Baek. I don’t.” They’ve been over this before. Chanyeol chose not to tell him his feelings, because even now he’s still trying to understand them.  
  
Baekhyun looked troubled the longer they were in silence, and it seemed as if he was heavily considering something.  
  
When Chanyeol opened his mouth to speak, he was only met with a kiss. Baekhyun intended for the kiss to be brief to leave his friend’s arms quickly after, only to be unsuccessful and get pulled back in much closer.  
  
“Why do you wanna leave?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“Embarrassed?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I just don’t. Really.” A pause. “I just know that I love you.”  
  
Then next thing they knew, Baekhyun’s shedding tears. Chanyeol has never seen him cry before, not even to the bullies, but he feels awful with the thought maybe he had caused this. He doesn’t understand much, and either way, he wants to comfort his friend so he tries to work with what he knows.  
  
Chanyeol returns Baekhyun’s kiss, startling the latter. When he’d tried to pull back, Chanyeol held him in place. Baekhyun stopped being fearful, and slowly accepted that his crush was finally returning the kiss, even if maybe that didn’t mean Chanyeol necessarily returned his feelings. With this in mind, Baekhyun tried to soak up as much as he could get, grateful for whatever Chanyeol is willing to give. Their tongues were slow and unsure, learning through whatever felt good and right to them. When they took a break to catch breaths, Chanyeol hands went to wipe the excess tears off Baekhyun’s cheeks. The gesture made the latter’s heart ache. His hands continued on, slipping up his shirt to run throughout Baekhyun's body, and with his fingertips he grazed the soft skin of the smaller’s back, waist, hips, and below the band of his pants. Wherever they touched sent electric down Baekhyun’s spine, and his enthusiasm was made clear when he begged for more.  
  
Chanyeol admired how the smaller boy looked: flushed, hair messy, healthy, curvy, and lips red and plump, all thanks to Chanyeol’s doing. Baekhyun’s pliance, his needy and affirming noises were like a hand wrapped around Chanyeol’s heart, so whatever the smaller found himself begging for, the taller gave, willingly so.  
  
They continued with this exchange. Chanyeol liked it. He liked it all. He still wasn’t sure if he felt anything romantic towards Baekhyun, but seeing Baekhyun, hugging him, showing his care and seeing it reciprocated with beaming smiles and warmth of touch is enough. It’s an often case where they’re wrapped up in sheets, peppering kisses onto each other’s skin. Being there to make sure Baekhyun sleeps soundly is enough. It doesn’t get rid of certain unfortunate things, but it’s _enough_ , enough to make Baekhyun happy. Enough to help him carry through with it all.  
  
  
  
That’s what he tries to convince himself when he sees Baekhyun in the school bathroom, laying bloody and bruised and limbs held in odd angles. Six overly imposing students were crowded around him, some with various choice torture devices, some with phones out.  
  
They were pretty amused by Chanyeol’s reaction upon entering. “What are you looking at?” One of them spoke up, zooming their phone’s camera to Chanyeol’s face.  
  
Another boy swung his metal chains into the air, gesturing towards to Chanyeol. “You want a turn at him?”  
  
“Forget about that kid. He never makes fun of the faggot.”  
  
“ _Oh?_ ” Their leader gotten up from his crouching position, squaring their shoulders as they observed Chanyeol in full. “D’ya have something to say, Park?” Although the leader was a good several inches below Chanyeol, he was still pretty intimidating while he stalked over to him. It might have something to do with his drawn knife and Chanyeol not possessing any real fighting abilities—especially when it came to being against not one, but six people.  
  
Chanyeol flitted between the man standing strong a mere few inches away, and his friend that was laying pretty much lifeless on top of the floor decorated with none other than his own blood. Fear, not just for Baekhyun, but for himself took over.  
  
Chanyeol let his long legs take him somewhere, anywhere other than where he was just at.  
  
If there was anything Chanyeol couldn’t stop imagining as he fled from the scene, it was Baekhyun’s eyes and how they plead for someone to be there for him. To take him away from these people who made his life fucking hell.  
  
Baekhyun’s eyes had felt accusing on Chanyeol’s own.  
  
He justifies that not helping at the present moment doesn’t mean he won’t help later on. Being there for Baekhyun after the aftermaths is what he usually did. Chanyeol usually and didn’t want to think about the injuries that were always present on Baekhyun’s skin. He didn’t want to think about the injuries from yesterday’s, neither tomorrow’s, and hopefully, he’ll be able to disregard the ones he’ll see on his skin later today—after school.  
  
‘ _It’s enough._ ’ The boy reminded himself as he fought to catch his own breath, heaving over some vacant stairway. ‘ _Being there is enough._ ’  
  
Their routinely after school meet never happened, as Baekhyun never waited for Chanyeol that day.  
  
  
  
  
  
Baekhyun still returned to school next day. Chanyeol watched as he walked over to his desk with a painful limp, eliciting a wince out of the tall boy. He tried to reason to himself, ‘ _Oh, perhaps we didn’t meet because of his leg._ ’  
  
Baekhyun didn’t wait for Chanyeol that after school neither, nor the day after. Chanyeol believed his leg was that badly injured that the boy just didn’t have time anymore to hang out with him. Such wasn’t the case when his leg was nearly healed back to full, it seemed to be only sore.  
  
Maybe Baekhyun just needed a break.  
  
  
  
Chanyeol didn’t know what he expected when the bullies continued to bother Baekhyun. The only difference from before and now is that the gang would often look at Chanyeol and snicker, placing a tentative finger to their lips when the tall boy finally returned the gaze. They resumed making a fool out of Baekhyun, ugly cackles and grotesque taunts of “faggot” and “sissy” filled the air, rotting out the smell of mealtime.  
  
  
  
It’s been a few weeks ever since Chanyeol decided Baekhyun wanted alone time. The former had felt impatience only finally beginning to run. Seeing Baekhyun everyday was like seeing a bundle of happiness that was so close yet so far away. He was really missing being able to spending time with him, to hold him, and the kisses they shared.  
  
The tall boy begun to wait every day after school for Baekhyun. He purposefully packed earlier than the rest of his classroom and would abide by the hallway rules as much as possible, speed walking at the maximum speed to stand planted by the school gate. Baekhyun would just walk past him everyday, unperturbed by the tall boy’s efforts.  
  
Chanyeol tried grabbing his attention one time by placing a hand on his shoulder, only for it to be quickly shaken off in sudden hurry.  
  
Another time Chanyeol had flat out walked alongside Baekhyun. The latter had eventually tried to run, but Chanyeol would easily keep up with his long legs. He didn’t know what to expect; Baekhyun soon made it clear this was getting to be too much.  
  
“Don’t,” Baekhyun held a hand up in front of Chanyeol, waiting for his breaths to catch up, “Don’t wait for me anymore—matter in fact, just please ignore me in general.”  
  
Baekhyun finally looked at Chanyeol. He wasn’t crying—he had rarely ever, save for that time he revealed his feelings to Chanyeol. But when Baekhyun looked at him the same way he looked at those bullies (if not, even worse), Chanyeol knew somewhere he had fucked up. It only took this moment for it to really sink in.  
  
The taller boy only stood there. It became apparent he was too stunned to speak, let alone form any tangible thoughts.  
  
Unbeknownst to Chanyeol currently, Baekhyun was scared and rocked to the bone. If the bullies didn’t cease to exist, he at least didn’t want to lose what he thought was his only friend. Baekhyun gave him a moment, maybe as a chance for Chanyeol to redeem himself, however he’d conclude there were no words left from the boy.  
  
“Fine,” A gentle sigh, “Thanks for what we had, I guess. If we even had anything.” Baekhyun left quickly after, not caring to wait for half muttered apologies or excuses.  
  
That would be the final time in a long while their eyes would meet.  
  
  
  
Chanyeol did as Baekhyun asked, he’d avoided him not because he wanted to, but because seeing the smaller boy left aching pains in his chest. He could only imagine what Baekhyun felt whenever he’d spot the tall boy, let alone endure his presence during class.  
  
He’d seen how much he had meant to Baekhyun, yet he threw it all away thanks to his selfishness, his cowardice. Whenever Chanyeol tried to think, he would get caught up in these new and invading thoughts, imposing him when he needed to concentrate on something other than Baekhyun.  
  
He ate less. He slept less. His grades dropped. Chanyeol’s parents asked if they dropped him when he was younger.  
  
He knew Baekhyun probably didn’t want jackshit to do with the boy now, but Chanyeol felt like he depended on Baekhyun’s happiness and presence, even if it wasn’t wholly the other way around now. Even if he didn’t really deserve any of it.  
  
  
  
Chanyeol rarely listened to music. However, he’d dug up his old and unworn earbuds, supposing music would be a healthy outlet in focusing on his studies once again.  
  
Then when his radio played a specific tune, Chanyeol envisioned the lovesick protagonist as Baekhyun and the hurtful antagonist to be none other than himself.  
  
The timing couldn’t have been more spot on, yet off at the same time. Upon bridging the parallel between the song and his situation, he finally acknowledged how he felt towards Baekhyun, however: Does Baekhyun even feel that way towards him anymore?  
  
The answer crawled all over his body with fear and regret.  
  
Whether if he does or doesn’t, does it even matter?  
  
The logical answer is clear, it would be the one Chanyeol would supply, but every inch of him is telling him what a liar he is to himself. And once again the feeling of post-fuck up punched him in the gut with full force.  
  
Chanyeol stopped his homework and song halfway. He’d call it for the night.  
  
  
  
School turned out to be uneventful, even with the bullies finding new and novel ways to disturb Baekhyun. Said boy didn’t seem to be bothered much anymore, just tired. That alone kept the bullies going just to see if they can rekindle that initial spark, but over time their interest faded as so had Baekhyun’s.  
  
Little by little, the boy started making friends again. He wasn’t as popular as he was in middle school, but he seemed to be enjoying school better now. Chanyeol had watched all of this from afar, even if Baekhyun was in a better place than he was before, he chose not to intrude as per request.  
  
This was the _least_ he could’ve done after letting their friendship fall to ruins.  
  
  
  
Summer vacation just couldn’t have arrived any sooner. And so marked the ending of the freshman year.  
  
  
  
In sophomore year, Chanyeol was in the same class as Baekhyun again. Upon first seeing the smaller boy, he was surprised upon seeing certain changes to his appearance. Although his height remained remotely the same, he had lost a chunk of weight, enough to resemble the beauty standard in Korea, healthily lean. Most noticeably of all, there was something in the overall way he presented himself that simply screamed confidence. Baekhyun was sure of himself, even sure of others. It’s not like he took everyone for granted, he’d just believe in the best of others.  
  
Baekhyun wasn’t popular, but he surely wasn’t a loner, at least not like Chanyeol. He was always conversing with several kids in the class, and as far as Chanyeol was concerned, he even managed to befriend one of the bullies from last year. He had caught on to his name by chance, Oh Sehun, only since he happened to be in their same class.  
  
Through their conversations Chanyeol (rather shamelessly) overheard, most of the bullies had calmed down after Baekhyun, having decided there were better things to do in their life. Such a revelation caused Baekhyun to smile uncontrollably so, he had a hard time concealing his happiness—then again there’s not much of a reason to.  
  
Chanyeol wanted to feel happy too. But he couldn’t, or he supposes, he didn’t want to. He grew irritable at the thought he might never be able to speak to Baekhyun, to hold him and share smiles again.  
  
  
  
He knew he had to do himself justice this year with workload, after having fell apart last semester. He’d gotten an earful of that during summer: no video games, no phone, no television. Chanyeol was sent off to a cram school, just to make up for anything he potentially missed out on.  
  
However, as obvious as his priorities were for this year, he still put Baekhyun above it all.  
  
It wasn’t romantic. He’d defend that he was never romantic in the first place—it’s more or less true, mostly depending on your own beliefs.  
  
However, the more the semester went on, thanks to Chanyeol’s choice of watching Baekhyun closely, he consequently had to pay attention to Sehun as well. The two could almost never be seen without each other outside of class time. During breaks, they were always chatting away, during class they couldn’t seem to help but look at each other constantly.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t know what was worse, the three minutes of break in between classes where they’d attach themselves to the hip, or several hours of the small smiles they exchanged across the room.  
  
He’s sure that he’s jealous. There’s no arguing about that.  
  
Sometimes Chanyeol reasoned to himself that Sehun was just waiting to destroy Baekhyun, at the right moment. Such a thing was horrible to even consider.  
  
In either scenario, Sehun had undeniable chemistry with Baekhyun. Chanyeol’s never seen the latter this animated with someone, ever, and middle school doesn’t count because Baekhyun was popular—he talked like this to everyone. In the present day, it was only Sehun he was like this towards—Chanyeol wasn’t keen to admit but he had seen this look in Baekhyun’s eyes before. Mostly when they were together in his bed, Baekhyun’s words carrying them off to a new world, Chanyeol would only be in it for the ride.  
  
Baekhyun was happy, much more happy than he’d ever been with Chanyeol.  
  
He doesn’t know how he’s going to get over this.  
  
  
  
He doesn’t know if it was possible for them to get even closer than they were before. As the semester went on, it just seemed like the duo kept finding new ways to close their gap.  
  
To Chanyeol, this meant Sehun was nearing the climax of his foul plan. Him and his fellow lackeys would be there at the end of it.  
  
Chanyeol would have to save Baekhyun somehow, someway. Maybe be there for when it happens, to swoop him away. They’d be together again, that’s what matters. He’d make sure he would be doing everything right this time.  
  
Yes, that’d be Chanyeol’s fairytale. It’s his hopeful dream every night, and if it came true, Chanyeol could imagine he would die happily. He loved Baekhyun, very much so. He had to show him he means it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Little by little, the bullies from last year started to pop in again during lunch. Baekhyun’s hesitation to befriend them was clear, but Sehun’s hand on his back seemed enough to push him. In no time, they were all on friendly terms. To Baekhyun it seemed to mean his circle was complete.  
  
Chanyeol would learn their names over time. Besides Sehun there was Jongin, Kyungsoo, Minseok, Jongdae, and their leader, Junmyeon.  
  
They all seemed pretty ecstatic about befriending Baekhyun. Junmyeon wasn’t as intimidating as when Chanyeol had unfaithfully encountered in the bathroom. Rather, he was pretty energetic (fault of his enthusiasm), just like the rest of the bunch.  
  
_No_ , that was only part of their plan!  
  
Chanyeol, so sure of his own plan, had failed to overhear the apologies the group had collectively and individually given to Baekhyun, showing that they’ve learned to move past it all.  
  
Of course, it was only their plan, right Chanyeol?  
  
He failed to see the peck on Baekhyun’s cheek too, when the boy expressed his happiness for meeting Sehun’s friends. For seeing how far they’ve come already, and for being able to be part of it all.  
  
Ah, Chanyeol.  
  
It’s still lunch. He seems to have went back to his studies.  
  
  
  
Junmyeon had pointed to Chanyeol somewhere in the period, supposedly asking about him to Baekhyun. The latter shrugged, he didn’t miss the unmoving scowl on Chanyeol’s face that only seemed to grow deeper on his face as the days went on. Needless to say, it bothered him. However, when asked about it, Baekhyun had wrote it off as nothing, going for lengths to not talk about whatever had happened between him and Chanyeol.  
  
  
  
Baekhyun’s friends were relatively normal. They had their own stories, their own struggles. Baekhyun had learned everything happens for a reason, even if it’s not outwardly obvious.  
  
He’s considered that in the nights alone when he finds himself wondering about a particular tall boy.  
  
  
  
Chanyeol found a note on his desk when he returned from the bathroom.  
  
‘ _Meet me after school, please. -B_ ’  
  
When Chanyeol looks up, Baekhyun is still hanging around Sehun’s seat with the rest of their circle. It was nearing the end of the lunch period, but they were known to wait till the bell before they finally headed back to their homerooms, much to discontentment of the class since Baekhyun’s friends were really loud.  
  
Baekhyun snuck a glance at Chanyeol’s seat. That’s where they met eyes again.  
  
It was brief, but it was enough to send Chanyeol’s heart in a race.  
  
And once again, Chanyeol failed to notice the shared peck between Baekhyun and Sehun when the bell signaled for the former to part back to his seat.  
  
  
  
They didn’t speak much while Baekhyun had took him to the park, to the same seat where they first sat down together.  
  
“Hey.” Baekhyun started.  
  
“Hi.”  
  
“Seems like it’s been a year since we’ve came here.” Baekhyun’s smile was meek as how Chanyeol first remembered it here.  
  
He nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
Chanyeol was about to ask why Baekhyun had took him here before the latter cut in. “How have you been?”  
  
“Fine.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
Chanyeol realized he didn’t want to lie, not when the boy was staring right through him. So he replied with a simple, “No,” not sure of how to carry it on.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t say anything. The silence was getting to be too much for Chanyeol.  
  
“No, I’m not okay. I missed you.”  
  
Baekhyun’s lips thinned. “Oh.” He breathed in, before letting out a fog of white through his mouth.  
  
“Chanyeol, I think I have to tell you something.”  
  
Said boy waited. Baekhyun continued. “I moved on.” Chanyeol felt his body turn to ice. “Now, it isn’t because I hate you or anything… Far from that. I know I still feel things for you, but I can’t feel attached anymore.”  
  
“Why? Why are you telling me this now?”  
  
“I didn’t think you would ever realize how you felt. I’m sorry, Yeol.”  
  
“Are you?”  
  
“Yeah. I don’t think you’re the only one who’s going to be hurt anyways.” A pause. “I don’t know if you realized but I ended up forming feelings for Sehun. Don’t hate him, he’s a nice person.”  
  
Chanyeol didn’t want to listen to that, but felt himself complying anyways since Baekhyun had asked fairly.  
  
“But it’s not like I’m going to date him neither.” He finally said.  
  
The taller’s ears perked, with a slight tinge of hope bordering his heart. “What do you mean?”  
  
The latter didn’t understand a shred of what was happening, but Baekhyun took Chanyeol’s hand in his own, despite how cold they both felt, before bringing it up to his chapped lips and kissed.  
  
He settled their hands down on his lap, rubbing the back of Chanyeol’s hand with his thumb as he thought.  
  
“I knew you never had bad intentions, so there’s no forgiving what we both never understood.” Baekhyun felt something prick the corners of his eyes. “Take this as a farewell, okay? I always cared about you, Yeollie. Please take care of yourself, for someone special in the future. Do this for yourself and them.”  
  
Baekhyun erupted into silent tears, a steady warm stream flowing down his cheeks as he continued to think.  
  
No matter how much he loved Sehun, it was unfortunate that his case prevented him from falling deeper.  
  
Baekhyun would tell no lies to himself. He knew he loved Chanyeol a whole lot more. However, he’d made a point to himself to not mention it to anyone. He’d know the truth in his own heart, where he believed mattered most in.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t know what to make of this situation, so he opted to hold the other in his arms.  
  
At some point, Baekhyun kept mumbling apologies, the tears just won’t stop.  
  
Everything was hard to understand.  
  
  
  
Chanyeol figures that it all makes sense when one school day, perhaps a week after he met up with Baekhyun, the teacher has announced a student had transferred.  
  
Chanyeol quickly felt like his world was breaking.  
  
It seems like Sehun had known all of this beforehand, since he was relatively collected. The boy had walked over to Chanyeol’s desk during lunch to hand him a letter.  
  
“What’s this?” Being in the middle of his tomorrow’s trigonometry homework, he tried to hold back on anything that resembled a glare.  
  
“Baekhyun told me to give this to you.” The boy walked away after.  
  
Chanyeol decided he’d read it at home, away from Sehun, in case this was all a joke, waiting to elicit a reaction. He didn’t hate Sehun, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to trust him fully.  
  
  
  
After he’d gone through his nightly routine, he plopped down on his office chair with a towel to wring his hair.  
  
That’s when he remembered the letter that Baekhyun supposedly had asked to be given to him.  
  
Fetching for it in his backpack, he quick peeled the top off and hurriedly took a folded paper out.  
  
  
  
‘ _Chanyeol, by the time you’re reading this, I’m probably on either the plane or already in America. I’m writing this letter because I felt like whatever I had to say that time wasn’t enough.  
  
First, I hope you know my gratitude for you sticking with me all those times after school. Those moments are special to me, something I’ll revisit a lot when I’m feeling lonely. But if you don’t know it already, you have the thanks from the bottom of my heart.  
  
I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry things couldn’t have went better between us, and I’ve spent some time thinking about how it could’ve been if we just talked things out sooner.    
  
I had spoken to my parents somewhere that week we stopped talking, I was honest to them about my situation. They were a lot more caring and accepting than I had initially pegged them for. This led to them planning to come back and bring me with them abroad—to America.  
  
It took some time because they had to figure out all the financial bits. And by the time I became friends with my bullies, the tickets were already bought so there was not much reversing it. I think this would be beneficial for me overall, to see the world and experience it all. I told my friends this, and I’m pretty sure that’s why we were ridiculously close—they wanted to offer me an experience and a side to them before I left Korea. They probably felt like they owed me something. I feel like I owe them a lot more, they’ve treated me to a lot of chicken and ramen shops!  
  
Back on topic, even if we’re probably too young to make that type of decision, and there’s too many ways to go before we even think about love—I’ll be honest, I think I wanted to grow and experience life with you. I know our chemistry wasn’t fireworks, or however television makes out love to be, but I know how I feel about you and nothing or no one could dictate that for me.  
  
So make no mistake, I didn’t leave behind Korea nor did I leave behind you.  
  
I hope you enjoy the copy of the picture I made.  
  
If we meet again, I’d like to see how much we’ve grown.  
  
  
  
Till next time,  
  
Byun Baekhyun_ ’  
  
  
  
Chanyeol gave himself a moment to skim through the letter a final time before spotting a small piece of paper by his feet.  
  
Crouching down, he flipped over the flimsy white paper to reveal a picture with his awfully timed expression and Baekhyun’s beaming smile.  
  
For awhile he felt remorseful. It seems like Baekhyun had come to terms with their situation much faster than he had. It was evident he moved past it all for awhile now, and Chanyeol was just starting to do the same. Looking at the picture, Chanyeol realized he might never get to see that smile again in person, but he was content at the thought they were at least able to capture this moment together. Even if it wasn’t the most perfectly timed picture in the world—that matters less than what you make of it.  
  
Chanyeol was never a romantic person, but he felt a smile dawn on him for the first time since forever.  
  
He figures people don’t really move on from those they love. Those particular feelings will always be there, it’s mostly a matter of how you control them.  
  
Chanyeol had done a great deal controlling them as the years went on. He’d learn many things along his journey, progressing through his highschool and eventually getting into a good college to pursue a particular major he’s keen on.  
  
Throughout it, he didn’t befriend Baekhyun’s past bullies because he just wasn’t ever interested in making friends in the first place. Sometimes they’d talk, but that’s as far as it went.  
  
In his sophomore year he studies abroad, somewhere in the tropical west coast of California.  
  
Somewhere, he’s just sitting in a stool, the large folded windows of the bar let in the warm breeze and the chatter of nearby beachgoers. Not a lot of people took the door, since the windows were already open for them to walk through.  
  
Somewhere in the distance, he watches a few pairs of nearby university students playing volleyball on the beach.  
  
He’s been doing so for awhile now, and had considered joining in but felt too beat from the summer weather, still a bit homesick for the climate back in Korea.  
  
One of the volleyball players were smiling sheepishly, but it wasn’t as if they scored a goal. As Chanyeol’s eyes wandered up, he realized the volleyball player was looking back at where Chanyeol is sitting.  
  
  
  
And for what felt like many times in the past, seemed like it’ll be umpteen times more.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks


End file.
